"I don't like that title, Bum," said Bear. "It makes it sound like we are throwing out structure in our book and that would be stupid. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes, I do agree, Bear, and that is not what I meant by the title. We need to finish Paul's comments on Stracture and that is why I called it End of Structure. OK?"
"OK," said Bear, "but first I want to know about the story you mentioned when last we met, about screwing."
"Oh yes, the screwing story. I knew you wouldn't be able to forget that. Where should I begin?"
"Try the beginning, Bum. That usually works for me."
"The incident happened about a year ago in November 2019. A man came to the house to work and told me I needed a good screw, thicker and longer."
"WHAT!!" shouted Bear."
"I'm just telling you what he said, Bum. I wrote it down on a little piece of paper and placed it in my purse."
"You needed to write it down? Have you lost your memory or perhaps just your mind," exploded Bear. "Who was this awful guy? And why did you invite him into your house. You don't like visitors at the best of times, at least your sister doesn't, and it's her house."
"Don't get your tail in a knot, Bear. He was the male part of the Molly Maid pair that comes to our house once a month to clean and vacuum. The man does all the vacuuming, downstairs and upstairs, and brings his own machine. They're not coming now because of the pandemic."
"Did you complain to Molly Maid, Bum? I thought they were a reputable firm but really, if they are hiring people like that, there is a problem."
"Before you go off half cocked, there is a simple explanation for what he said to me. That cupboard of mine outside my bedroom has a door which slumped dramatically and I was very disturbed. The man from Molly Maid had a look at it for me and said the small screws in the upper hinge had loosened with age and one had fallen out. That is when he said, you need a good screw, thicker and longer, because there is good wood behind the screws, or something like that. I wrote it down on the little piece of paper, wrapped the remaining small screw in it, and placed it in my purse for the next time I was near a hardware store. That, my dear Bear, is the story of the screwing."
"You know, Bum, you can take a small incident and turn it into a huge, impossible, and granted, sometimes funny story, or not," said Bear.
"What can I say," said Bum, "It's a gift."
"We've wasted a lot of time, Bum, screwing around, if you'll pardon my French. Let's get on with Paul's Structure comments," said Bear.
"Where were we?" asked Bum. Her memory's not as good as is used to be. Mind you, she cannot remember if she ever had a good memory.
"We agreed that Paul was correct this time when he likened our Gordon bit of our book with Love Story which also had a sad ending, or something like that," said Bear.
"Oh yes," said Bum. Paul said "In the story, Gordon simply moves away. This is a preexisting plan, but he has a relationship with Janey now, and the question needs to be asked why he doesn't stay behind for her sake, or why he doesn't offer to take her with him. This is what the reader is wondering, and it is a question that needs to be decisively answered. The answer to this question lies at the heart of what this story means, what it's trying to say. Why, exactly, really, is this relationship breaking up?"
Later in the analysis, Paul says "Now it might be that Gordon is just not into Janey; he's had a light fling, and now he's going to be on his way. Janey, somewhat heartbroken, then turns to her friend, Bear."
"That's not the Gordon we knew, Bum,: said Bear. "Paul is putting a negative spin on our story and in simple terms is saying that Gordon had his way with Janey and now is taking his ways elsewhere. I don't buy it. Maybe Paul has been dumped a few times and this has brought back bad memories. Has he? been dumped I mean," added Bear."
"How the hell would I know," exploded Bum. "He was more likely the dumper rather than the dumpee."
"Whatever," said Bear. "I'm just saying he's got our friend Gordon wrong. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes, Bear, I do agree. But, to give Paul his due, his analysis of our book was based on Draft 1. I, with your help, fixed some of the points he made. For example, Draft 2 includes the bit where Gordon asks Janey to go back east with him to live with his sister."
"Oh, that's right, Bum. I'd forgotten those changes. You likened yourself to an old car that would not make the trip, or something like that."
"Yes, Bear, but it was explained a little bit better than that," said Bum.
"I don't doubt that, Bum. You are a careful writer, and person, and avoid confrontation at all costs. That's why people like you, although sometimes I think they don't know you that well. But, that's your fault," said Bear.
"Don't psychoanalyze me, Bear. I don't like it," said Bum.
"OK, I'll leave it for now, Bum, because you seem upset. Let's get on with Paul's other comments about Gordon. As I recall, he said Gordon simply moves away and this is the part I don't get, that it was a preexisting plan," said Bear, looking puzzled. "He didn't know his sister's wealthy husband was going to die and that she, because she was alone now, and had money, could and would invite Gordon to live with her free. I think that sums it up. It was not a preexisting plan, period."
"I know that, Bear, and you know that, but Paul is looking for cynicism perhaps in their relationship. He doesn't understand the special, but short, relationship that Janey and Gordon had. I think you described it perfectly in Draft 2 about love being the most important thing in the universe and that it is a gift we do not all get, or something like that. I'll have to go back and read it again to refresh my failing memory."
"Do that, Bum."
"One last question in Structure which we need to address, Bear, is when Paul said, the question needs to be asked why Gordon doesn't stay behind for Janey's sake" said Bum.
"Do you have the answer, old wise one?" asked Bear.
"Yes I do, Bear," said Bum..
"Somehow I knew you would," said Bear ruefully.
"For reasons unknown to me, most parents want to leave their children as much of their money as they can before they die, and even takes steps to minimize what they spend on themselves when they get older and closer to death. I believe Gordon saw his chance when his wealthy sister asked him to move east and she would pay for everything. He would only need some walking around money. That's why he decided to sell his little house. Perhaps it's one of those archetypical things, you know a universal human nature. As you know, I never had any children and cannot comprehend this desire to deprive yourself as you get older so you will have more money to give to some rascals. Fuck them, I say. Get your own money. Try working for it like I did. Does that make me selfish? Again, I say, fuck them."
"Are you quite finished, Bum? I don't like to end our conversation with all this cursing. You know it offends me. Don\t you have something upbeat or whatever to tell me?"
"I learned how to make a face mask today to protect others from me giving them the coronavirus, in case I have it and don't know it."
"That's better, Bum, doing something for others. Who taught you?" asked Bear.
"Dr. Gupta," answered Bum. "He's often on CNN giving medical advice and information and he had a small video today showing the audience how to make a face mask."
"Dr. Gupta?" queried Bear. "Is he Asian?"
"No," said Bum. "He's Indian like you. I thought you'd know that name, being Indian I mean."
"I was born in Calcutta, as you know, Bum, but I left there as a puppy and of course wouldn't know about names common to India."
"Anyway, Dr. Gupta showed us how to make a face mask, and luckily it doesn't involve any sewing. As I've told you before, I have some trouble now threading a needle."
"Presumably you just tie a scarf around your head, crossing your face with it. Or, you could get one of those burquas."
"All good ideas, Bear, which I too thought might work. But, Dr. Gupta's mask is better because it loops over your ears. All you need is a square scarf and a couple of big elastic bands. I had an old silk scarf, red in colour with horses running around the edges. I often wore it to the Track for luck but it didn't work. It's about 20 years old but perfect for my new mask. It was red across my face
with just bits of the horses showing over my ears. I thought it looked quite stylish, in a medical kind of way."
"Fascinating, Bum, but I have to go now. My master's wife awaits, no doubt still complaining about toilet paper, and she needs someone to vent to, and I'm all she has. Wear your new mask the next time and I'll let you know if it is indeed stylish," said Bear with a bit of a smirk.
"I have been accused of being stylish, my dear Bear, on many occasions," said Bum who likes the last word, and she got it, as he had already gone.
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