"Let's walk and talk today, Bum. I've missed that."
"Me too, Bear. I don't walk much anymore, just around the car in the carport a number of times in the morning when I take out the garbage," admitted Bum.
"That sounds pretty dull Bum. What's the problem? Is it your back?" asked Bear.
"Indirectly," said Bum.
"What does that mean? Is it your back or not?" Bear sounded exasperated.
"You know I have that sciatic nerve problem in my back?"
"Yes," said Bear.
"Well, it affected my legs."
"In what way did it affect your legs?" asked Bear.
"As Mom said about her own lack of walking, her legs just didn't work. Mine are the same."
"Did you see your doctor?"
"Yes."
"What did he say?"
"Walk more."
"Let's go then. We can walk down to Gordon's, just like we did so many times when he was your boyfriend."
"Gordon's gone and so is his garden, Bear. His daughter tore the little gray flat-roofed house down, changed his garden to a pristine and boring lawn, and pretty well destroyed Gordon's legacy. The only thing left standing is his beautiful willow tree near the street. I tied the biggest red Christmas bow on one of its branches just before Christmas, in his memory."
"It's a good thing no one can tear down our memories, isn't it Bum?"
"Indeed."
Bear and Bum walked slowly up the driveway to the road where they stopped to watch for traffic coming up the blind hill to the left.
Bear spoke first.
"What happened to that red bicycle you bought at the Church Thrift for 5 bucks? I thought you were going to take up cycling because of your difficulty walking."
"What can I say? It didn't work out so I got rid of it," said Bum and paused before saying, "I parked it up here near the street with a big FREE sign on it. It was gone within a day."
"What was the problem, Bum? Don't you know how to ride a bike?"
"Oh, I know how to ride a bike, Bear. It was getting off the bike that brought me down, and I mean that literally."
"Do you mean you couldn't dismount?" said Bear in a disbelieving tone.
"Correct. I could not swing my leg over that rod thing which goes from the back of the bike up to beneath the handlebars."
"Do you mean the frame?"
"Yes, and I could not swing my leg over it so my only option was to head to that tree outside and lean into it. Of course, I and the bike fell over in a heap. That's when I decided that cycling was not for me."
"Good grief, Bum. You could've hurt yourself. Did you?"
"No."
"That's too bad, Bum, that your foray into biking didn't work out. It looked like a very nice bike."
"It was nice looking alright and I checked it out online to see what was said about it. There was a bike that looked very much like it and the same make and they wanted $1,000 for it."
"Why didn't you try to sell it, Bum. That would've been a nice return on your five bucks."
"I couldn't be bothered, Bear. I would've had to go out, crouch down and try to find the serial number. As I said, I couldn't be bothered. I hope it is that good bike and that the person who picked it up Free will have some good rides on it."
"You're a good person, Bum; a bit wacky but good. Now, how about your Big doll? You titled this blog Hello Dolly so I kind of reckoned it would be about that."
"I think I already told you that the Big doll is almost finished, except for the head which is bit of a problem."
"Why's that?" asked Bear.
"I haven't figured out how to keep the head upright. It wants to fall to the side. I tried stuffing it more loosely but that didn't work. It needs something stiff for its neck, I guess, but so far I cannot come up with anything that works."
"That's a problem OK Bum. Perhaps one of those medical collars people use when they hurt their neck and need support would do the trick. What do you say to that?"
"I say I don't want my Big doll to look like it has a sore neck because I don't have one." said Bum. "It's a replica for God's sake."
"What about your bad back. Is that going to be part of your Big doll?"
"The doll won't be standing, Bear, so who will know?"
"True," said Bear. "Your disability is hidden, not like a crippled person with a replica doll, or a fat person."
"Get real, Bear. A crippled person or a fat person will not want a replica doll."
"You don't know that. Bum. You are neither crippled, or not much, nor fat. Remember the ugly cabbage patch dolls? No one guessed how popular they would be."
"I guess you're right, you usually are, as you always tell me," muttered Bum.
Bear ignored that slightly snappish reply and said "It must look funny in your room with your desk sporting the doll's head you're working on, as well as the two ears, a nose, and the ruby red lips."
"No," said Bum.
"What do you mean, No?" asked Bear.
"My BIG doll's head is not on my desk. It is attached to the doll."
"How can that be, Bum? You said you were having trouble attaching the head to the doll because it would not stand upright."
"To understand the head problem, you need to know how the doll was constructed, Bear."
"Let's have it then, Bum. I already know you're using a big jumbo pillow from Superstore for the body."
"I only wear socks now," said Bum, for no apparent reason.
"What's that got to do with anything, Bum?" asked Bear.
"Before socks, I wore those thick black tights under pants and skirts. I found a bag of them in my room when I was into my downsizing mode. Good for the Thrift, I thought, but then inspiration hit. I used those tights for the legs and arms for my Big doll. I stuffed them and attached them top and bottom to the big pillow."
"That was actually pretty clever, Bum, but..."
"There's no but about it, Bear."
"As we both know, your arms are on the short side and would exceed the length of those black tights."
"I hate to say you're wrong, Bear, but you are."
"Like your mother, I am never wrong, or at least don't admit it," muttered Bear.
"Never mind all that. I acknowledge my arms are on the short side, and I prefer it not be mentioned all the time, but they do hang down as far as my crotch."
"I don't like that word crotch, Bum. It seems very low-class in my opinion."
"Would you prefer private parts?"
"No."
"I suppose I could just give you the length of my arms in inches but that negates what I am trying to say about using those dark tights for my arms. I know," said Bum, after a slight pause, "I'll say my arms reach the top of my legs, i.e. just before my crotch, or groin, if you prefer."
"Groin is not much better than crotch, in my humble opinion, Bum."
"OK then, Bear. Let's go with the more delicate statement that my arms reach the top of my legs. I stuffed one leg of the black tights into the other leg, stuffed it with a number of scarves I purchased at the Thrift, and then attached the leg, which was all that was left, to the top of the pillow at shoulder level. Voila, a pretty good looking arm. I did the same with another pair of tights for the second arm. I was armed and ready for the legs."
"It's pretty obvious how you do the legs, Bum," said Bear.
"That is true, my friend Bear, but it is the idea that was not so obvious," retorted Bum.
"Ideas are never obvious, Bum. That's what makes them so special. So presumably you stuffed those black tights to make them into legs. What did you use?" asked Bear.
"I used a number of balls of wool I got at the Thrift for the feet. That worked quite well. Then, I used a lot of scarves, again which I got from the Thrift, and they filled up the legs nicely."
"The Thrift must wonder why you need so many scarves, Bum. Did they ask?" asked Bear.
"No," said Bum. "The Thrift asks no questions. For instance, they didn't question a man's purchase of a giant banana-shaped thing, but I did, at least in my thoughts."
"You, dear Bum, always look for the bad in people, no doubt you're thinking this is a sexual thing. There could be a pretty mundane reason why that man purchased a large banana-shaped item."
"And what would that be?" asked Bum.
"There could be a number of uses," said Bear, prevaricating if I know him.
"Name one," said Bum, wanting to put him on the spot for a change.
Bear paused in reflection and then said "backscratcher".
"I bow to your quick and inventive thinking, Bear," said Bum with a grin.
"Noted," said Bear with a bit of a smirk. "Let's get back to your Big doll. You said you were having trouble with the head."
"To understand the head problem, Bear, you need to know how I used a skin-colored hoody pulled over the top half of the pillow, pulled the arms out, and there you go, the hood was going to be my head."
"Is the hood as big as your head, Bum?"
"Yes, I tried it on in the store and the hood almost enclosed my head."
"Is almost enough, Bum?"
"It'll do, Bear. I have two curly brown wigs and that will make up the difference."
"That's a lot of hair, Bum, even for you." said Bear.
"A funny thing happened to me about the wigs, Bear. I tried one on for my morning walk and when I passed another walker she said 'I wish I could get my hair to curl like that'. Me too, I thought."
"Very amusing, Bum. Please continue with the head problem."
"OK, I've got the hoody on the doll and then I twist the head around and around with the intention of securing it with some of the material I cut off the hoody's arms, so it will look sort of like a flesh colored neck. But, when I stuffed the hood it wouldn't stay upright. Therein is my problem."
"So what now, Bum?" asked Bear.
"I tried stuffing the neck and that helped a bit. My next plan is to use a rather expensive black turtle neck sweater I purchased at a real store. The neck was so tight I could hardly get it over my head. Rather than go to the inconvenience of returning it to The Bay, I decided to let my Big doll wear it."
"Presumably you did not try it on in the store, Bum. Why did you buy such a small size?"
"It was extra large, if you must know, Bear," said Bum.
"Extra large what?" asked Bear in that disparaging tone he uses too often.
"I'm just saying, Bear. I will try to find something suitable to place around the neck, something soft would be good, and then I'll add the tight necked black turtle shirt and hope for the best."
"If that doesn't work, what will you do, Bum?" asked Bear.
"I suppose some kind of stick or pole from the body up to the head is a possibility, although I am trying to avoid that if I can," said Bum.
"Where do you keep your Big doll while you're working on it, Bum? It must be pretty unwieldy in your small room."
"It lies at the bottom of my bed, Bear, with the head hanging towards me where I sit at my desk."
"There's a name for a person who sleeps with a big life-size doll like yours, Bum."
"Dollmaker?" asked Bum.
.
